We have all got stories, we have all had challenges, eventually overcome. We help each other by telling stories. Religious leaders used parables and stories to teach and explain.
It is said that most people want to write a book, but very few really do, so what is it that stops them?
Limiting beliefs? They are what stop most of us doing anything we may want to do. Culture, Family and Society has a habit if telling people what they can’t do rather than encouraging them in what could be possible.
When children are under 5 years old, and they tell us (because we ask) they will be an Astronaut, a Doctor, a Spaceman, a Superhero we smile and say “that’s nice dear” if they tell us they want to do all of the above, we tell them they can only do one.
Once children reach school age, suddenly they are slammed down, “you can’t do that” or equivalents, and they are admonished if they want to do several things.
We sit in awe of those who step up and achieve, those that do the things we wished for but did not or believed we could not do. Television, movies, Youtube is full of positive stories, about people overcoming and forging ahead, we see it, the children see it, and we as a society continue to tell others that they “cannot do…”
Certainly limitations exist, but for every limitation there are alternative approaches, and while one door may slam in your face or that of a loved one, there are passages leading to other doorways, and pathways in different directions that perhaps appeared blocked but were simply veiled by those limiting beliefs.
We have all had the same kind of negative programming, and sadly most of us have inadvertently passed it down the line. Some of it was done with good intentions, the fear of a parent who did not want us to extend ourselves and then fail, resulting in hurt and sadness.
This is misguided, parents don’t stop us from trying to walk or talk, we all encourage the smallest of children to extend themselves, we celebrate every tiny milestone, then the rules are all flipped, old fashioned terms that come to mind are “don’t get above your station” and “don’t bite off more than you can chew” along with the straight out “you can’t do that” and “who do you think you are?”
So, if you have a story you really want to put out into the world, first start working on your inner voice to reverse the effects of negative input, and while you are at it do the same for those around you.
“And the optimal ratio is amazingly similar—five positive comments for every negative one.” (1)
You will have to pump 5 times the positives into your brain and the brains of others, and this will be challenging, the other programming is deep and probably very long term.
You can however overcome this and while you do that, start writing, even little bits, while you are at that, what other dreams have you pushed down? Or have you seen others discard a goal or dream?
Choose to encourage, yourself and others. What an exciting future for us all if we changed these cultural habits.
Who is coming with me?
Luv
(1) Harvard Business Review “the ideal praise to criticism ratio” March 2013